


Sometimes I wish I didn't stay

by Oxto



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 06:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16341695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oxto/pseuds/Oxto
Summary: Lotor's in a bad place. Acxa's still a little loyal (read: very). What do you do when the universe is about to be swallowed up? Save your old genocidal boss.(Note: Nothing is romantic about this yet, but this series is gonna be a setup for Acxa/Lotor so I'm tagging it)





	Sometimes I wish I didn't stay

Lotor was feeling a lot of emotions. Anger, betrayal, hurt. Those wouldn't matter in a little bit, would they? He was stuck in the quintessence rift, his own 'Voltron' shut down. The original Voltron was gone, as well as any hope he had for defeating them. Lotor wasn't an idiot, he was going to die here. He had no way to get out, and pretty soon the power radiating from the quintessence would kill him. Any moment now, he was already feeling weak.  
He thought of Allura. Any hope of reconciliation was gone, and he couldn't say he regretted it. She couldn't see the bigger picture, and it just couldn't be helped.

His generals betrayed him, and this time it was real. They'd abandoned him. He might've expected it from Ezor and Zethrid, those two could be predictable, although they usually followed Acxa's lead. Acxa was a surprise, and perhaps he was a little hurt. No matter, he wouldn't be there to feel those emotions pretty soon. The prince couldn't help but feel angry. He couldn't save himself, and he didn't want to give up, but what else was there to do?

It was only after being ejected into space that it dawned on Acxa that she and the other generals couldn't go back to the empire- not after she had shot at Honerva. But they couldn't very well go to the coalition, especially not after they had just fought them (and nearly won.) They needed someone to allign with, and quite honestly, Lotor was their best bet. Genocidal maniac or not. Acxa could always shoot him again if he tried to kill them. The several gates to the quintessence rift were still open, and it sparked an idea in Acxa that the others were hesitant to go along with- save Lotor. What other choice did they have? It was risky, but he would be weak and it was ultimately their best bet at surviving. If they used the jets on their suits and moved quickly, they might be able to reach the Sincline Mech before they all died.  Acxa sighed and took off towards one of the rifts, Ezor and Zethrid following close behind her. Entering the quintessence rift was like being hit with Haggar's magic, and it took them a moment before they surged on towards the Sincline Mech, continuing to weaken. By the time they reached it, Ezor was unconscious, Acxa was dangerously close to that state, and Zethrid was the only one strong enough to get them in the cockpit.

Everything was getting hazy to Lotor. He had just been about to close his eyes- the light coming in was getting blinding. He heard the sounds of the cockpit doors opening, and opened his eyes only enough to see blurry outlines. It was still enough for him recognize Zethrid carrying Ezor, and Acxa beside them. Why were they there? They knew he would die in the quintessence rift, so why had they come? To throw their own lives away? It was very unlike any of them to be that stupid. Zethrid and Ezor could be reckless, but were frequently stopped by Acxa's level head. Why would she allow- and accompany- such a dangerous trip? Were they here for the Sincline Mech? Lotor's mind wasn't even clear enough to be angry, only confused. Well, less unfinished business for him, there was no more 'revenge' to exact on them anymore, they would die here as well. God, this was agonizing. He'd closed his eyes again, at this point his head was pounding. Why couldn't he just fall unconscious, at the very least? The prince was starting to feel other affects, as well. His head had slumped forward, it'd gotten too heavy to keep up, as well as the rest of his limbs. It felt like gravity had been increased by ten. Above all that he just felt... miserable. Like his body was overloading, which it probably was. Perhaps the others would finish whatever they'd come on this suicide mission for and leave, perhaps they would survive. It was a bittersweet thought, and he'd begun to think that being near death was making him sentimental. Why else would he think about their survival with anything other than disappointment?

Zethrid was angrily punching things in the ship as Acxa slowly came further into consciousness, head still swimming with an unknown presence. Ezor was fighting her way back to consciousness as well, but for the most part, the team was down. Perhaps they hadn't completely thought through their plan- no- Acxa hadn't completely thought through the plan. Regardless, they were here now, and even through the haze of a quintessence plagued mind, she refused to let her team or Lotor die. Standing on shaky legs and helping Ezor do the same, Acxa got her bearings before speaking. "Ezor...get the power sources up...up and running. Zethrid- Zethrid...I need you to do a scan...and tell me-tell me where there are fatal areas of damage," She ordered in a weak voice. The others were, gratefully, quick to comply. Finally, Acxa turned to Lotor, giving him a look that may have been intimidating if not for her state, and now it looked pathetic. "Are you capable...of piloting, or must I- must I do it myself?"

If Lotor was confused before, he was bewildered now. At some point, he heard talking. Although it sounded a lot like they were underwater, he deduced that it was Acxa. The next thing he figured out was what she was saying, though he had to concentrate. Was she... saving them? He had no idea what they were planning, but it seemed as if he had another chance at survival, and he would not give it up. He forced his heavy eyelids open, and it took a moment to figure out what she was asking. "I can manage," is what he meant to say, but it came out as more of a, "I... can... I can-" before he gave up on the words and instead decided to let his actions speak. He still didn't know what they were planning on doing after they got to safety, and he would not let them have his ship. He attempted to sit up, to get to the controls. Lotor managed to do that but not without leaning on the control board for support. The warnings and words coming up were blurry, but he dismissed them all. All he was waiting on was Ezor to get the power sources running. Finally, he saw green lights pop up where they should, as far as power went anyways. Full thrusters, full power. They would have one shot to shoot out of the quintessence rift. Taking a deep breath, ignoring the near blinding pain behind his eyes, Lotor pushed forward. To his delight, the Sincline Mech shot forward, although with enough force to nearly push him back into his previous position.

Since it was clear that Lotor wasn't going to let her pilot, Acxa stepped back and went to help Ezor who was clearly struggling. It amused a small part of her that Zethrid wasn't struggling so much- but she had always been the strongest, so it wasn't a huge surprise. When the power was in full, and Lotor came to his senses enough to comply, Acxa slumped against the wall as they shot out of the rift just as the castleship began to enter. The Sincline Mech got just far enough to be out of Voltron's range of sight, while still being able to see as all of the rift portals shut. Now that they were free of the damaging weight of quintessence, Acxa could slowly feel her strength returning, and she could tell that the others felt similarly. "We need to get to a safe planet. Preferably not one under the allegiance of the empire or Voltron," Acxa spoke surely, sending Lotor a wary glance. He could very well kill them all now, to be quite honest. "Do those planets even exist?" Ezor crossed her arms and leaned against the control panel.

When they were out of the quintessence rift and Voltron's line of sight, Lotor leaned back into his seat, breathing a sigh of relief. The effects would most likely take a little while to wear off. He was tired, so tired. But he still couldn't trust them. He was in no shape to fight, and the Sincline Mech would need serious repairs before it was ready to do very much of anything. It would be best to stick with them for now, he decided. Get a plan together, and maybe, maybe let them go free once his health was better. Biding time was the best he could do right now. "Yes," the prince spoke up, although he was rather breathless. "There are some planets who have chosen to remain neutral." As he spoke, he was searching databases, looking for neutral planets nearby. The closest one was at least a solar system away, a planet called Nibiru. As soon as he found it, he pointed to it and then slumped back into his chair.

Acxa examined the course to Nibiru. It didn't look to be one riddled with coalition or galra forces, so they wouldn't have to worry about attack on their way, but the Sincline Mech still wasn't up to the best standards. Not to mention, the Mech on it's own was rather distracting, and the last thing they needed was more attention. "To draw the least attention, and increase our chances of making it to Nibiru without complication, the Sincline Mech will need to be disassembled. Ezor, Zethrid, you will pilot your individual ships. Lotor, you will be flying with me," Acxa ordered, her tone leaving no room for question. "You got it boss," Zethrid gave Acxa a joking salute as they all turned to Lotor expectantly. The tension was thick in the air, and it was clear that there was a great bridge of trust between the generals and Lotor. Acxa figured she should make it clear where they were in terms of operation and trust. "Do we have your cooperation, or will I have to shoot you again? I promise- it will not be a mere stun this time." Threats. That's what she was going for now.

Lotor mulled this over in his head. He wasn't used to not being in charge, and he didn't like it. He had no real choice right now, though. A part of him said she didn't really have it in her to seriously injure or even kill him. Another part said she just might. "You will have no problems from me, Acxa." He looked around at the other generals, looking for any sort of information their faces might give away. Right now he would take things cautiously. "However, I will need you to promise me my safety once there," he said. still wary of all of them. Ezor snorted, "you aren't in any shape to be making d-" she cut herself off once she saw the look Lotor was giving her, and instead looked to Acxa for an answer, as well as Lotor. He knew full and well it would be her decision, it always was.

Acxa knew that keeping Lotor with them wouldn't be easy, especially if he was going to be talking. But she owed a lot to him. Even if she didn't trust him, even if he didn't trust her, Lotor had saved Acxa from a life of slavery, not to mention, saved her life countless times on the battlefield. Her loyalty to him ran deep, deeper than she would have liked. But now it was her chance to return the favor. Giving Lotor a sharp glare, Acxa nodded to Ezor and Zethrid. "His safety will be ensured for as long as ours is," she turned towards Lotor once again. "The second I believe you are a danger to them, if I get even the slightest feeling that you will hurt them, I will take action to ensure that does not happen. Are we clear?" 

Lotor's face was blank, he didn't want them to know what he was thinking, or feeling. The smartest choice right now was to let them know as little as possible. "Of course," he complied. It would be bad planning to try and attack them now. He was nowhere near ready to fight anyone at the moment, much less his (former) generals. As Zethrid and Ezor left to make preparations, Lotor stood up from his seat, gesturing for Acxa to sit down. "You did say you were piloting, correct?" He asked. He knew Acxa, and he knew she wouldn't hurt him while he posed no threat to any of them. She would keep her word, especially to him. Lotor walked sluggishly to the back wall, leaning against it. He was already sick of feeling like this. Weak, tired. Perhaps he should rest. Of course, it wouldn't be easy to rest while practically a prisoner to them, but they'd already assured his safety, so he would have to get over his paranoia. He might could gain their trust, but that was something of a long shot. Ezor and Zethrid followed Acxa, and she was wasn't stupid. She might still have a little bit of loyalty to him, but she also knew how to make the hard decisions. She wouldn't hesitate to kill him if she had to and she made sure he knew it. Still deep in thought, Lotor sunk lower until he was sitting on the ground, leaning his head against the wall.

Acxa, for all her flaws and misjudgements of Lotor's character and motivations time and time again, knew that all too charming, reassuring ans victimizimg tone well. She'd heard it used on the empire when Lotor had first stepped in as temporary ruler. She'd heard it on planet Puig, when Lotor had attemped to convince the king that they were allies. Hell, she'd even heard it used in their fight with Voltron, only vargas ago. It was a tone that Acxa now recognized he'd been using with them all along. But now she wasn't blinded by loyalty, even if some still remained. Lotor had a plan. He always had a plan, was always one step ahead. But this time she wasn't going to let him get the upper hand. Let him feel safe for now. But the second he tried to make a move, Acxa forced herself to be prepared. "Ezor, Zethrid, get to the other control areas of the mech. We'll disband and head towards Nibiru in ten dobashes," she nodded at them before shooting Lotor one more pointed look and sitting in the pilot's chair. "Give me your sword."

Lotor could practically see the gears turning in Acxa's head. She might actually be figuring him out. No matter, he could account for that. Perhaps this would have to turn into more of a long-term plan. Who knows? Though unlikely, he might even spare their lives, despite their treachery. Lotor's head snapped up just as the other two were leaving, and Acxa demanded his sword. He stared at her a long time, expressionless and unmoving. His initial instinct was to refuse, but it would be best to obey whatever orders she gave him for now. Finally, he stood back up to take out his sword and hold it out for her, the sword facing down as well as the end of the hilt facing her. He wasn't happy about being weaponless, and he almost felt naked without the sword. It was fine, though. Whatever made her feel safer. He was still exactly where he needed to be to survive. They would let their guards down eventually. As Lotor walked back to his wall, leaning against it, he began talking. "Tell me, what exactly was your plan when you left me?" He asked, more out of curiosity than anything else, although there was a hint of spite, and maybe a little bit of gloating as well. They'd either took pity on him, or decided that they couldn't make it without him, and he wanted to bet on the latter.

Acxa took the sword gladly, tucking it in front of her so that Lotor couldn't access it. She knew full well what he could do with a sword. And though he was nearly as deadly with just his fists and will, taking off a little extra edge made her feel more secure. Though that was likely what Lotor had intended upon giving it to her. It was like an odd mind game. Who could figure out who's motivations quickest. It was a losing battle on both sides. Lotor's question made Acxa think a few moments, though, before ultimately responding. "I don't know," she admitted ruefully. She was not one to bluff, and Lotor knew full well they were out of options. "You insinuated that you would kill us. I made a split second decision. It's that simple. It took me a while, Lotor, I will admit, to realize that you don't give a quiznack what happens to us. You work only to protect and serve yourself. But I see now who you are, and what you do, and I will not make the mistake of trusting you again." Harsh, yes, but true. "I made several mistakes. But I will not do so in the future. These ships are our only chance at survival, and so too, is the one who knows better than anyone how they operate."

Lotor kept a nonchalant facial expression, but her words did trouble him. "You really think I don't care?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Of course he cared, right? He just had his priorities straight. He knew when decisions had to be made, and he made them Acxa, of everyone, should understand that. He cared, yes. He didn't want to kill his generals. He didn't want to sacrifice those Alteans, and he definitely didn't want to kill the paladins. But, of course, decisions had to be made. His generals betrayed him, and they would, eventually, pay the price. The Alteans had to die, a small price for the reward his plan would have led to. The paladins of Voltron chose their side, and for that they would die. Lotor just couldn't allow anyone who crossed him to get away with it. Why couldn't they see that? 

Acxa shook her head. "I believe that think you care...but I don't believe that you truly do. Because when you truly care about people, you will abandon your plans, your ambitions, to keep them safe," she said in a quiet voice. And hadn't she done just that when it came to Lotor and the other generals? Before joining up with them, she had her plans. And even after, before trust and loyalty had come into play, she had planned to do something along the same vein as Lotor. Without the mass genocide, of course. But in the end, she'd grown to care about Lotor, and her fellow generals, and nothing was more important to Acxa than their lives. Not even her own. "Even your respect for us, your apparent love for the Princess Allura, could not stop you from doing this. And even as we speak, you are plotting. To end us, them, everyone. So no. Forgive me if I don't believe that you care for anyone but yourself, and your idealization of what things should be," Acxa said coldly before giving the orders for the Sincline Mech disband. Ezor and Zethrid split from the mech and they began their descent to Nibiru after Acxa forwarded the coordinates to their dashboards. 

Lotor stared at Acxa's back with a guarded expression that, if one knew him well enough, would be interpreted as bewilderment. He hadn't known that she felt so strongly about him in this way, and quite frankly...it stung a bit. Not that he'd let it bother him. Acxa was a strong soldier, and formerly someone he'd once trusted more than anyone. But that was before. If she couldn't see his vision, then that was her problem. Lotor wouldn't let this setback deter him from his goals. And the generals would only be a hindrance until he was up to full capacity in strength and mental ability. He could play nice until then. 

When the time came, he'd at least spare Acxa, Lotor decided finally as he watched her pilot the Sincline ship in stony silence, a subconscious part of him wanting to smooth out the crease in her brows. Maybe then she'd see why he'd done all this. Maybe she'd finally understand.


End file.
